I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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