How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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