i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
