I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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