who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
