He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I need help removing her.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
