This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
