i think my tv is drunk
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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