Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
