...so i touched it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
