If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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