haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's the barista slut.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize