Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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