I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
