OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
