I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize