Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
