can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize