Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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