Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
my poor anus
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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