I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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