I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize