We named our party play list daddy issues
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
