Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You made out with two different species that night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
