You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
