if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
