This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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