Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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