I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
