What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
