She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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