we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
