He kissed a someone with a penis
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
