My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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