apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The beer is more important than you right now.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
