i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize