i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
A+ Viking dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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