How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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