I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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