first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize