Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize