I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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