So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
