It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
