The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
