Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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