Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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