You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
