hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize