so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
