Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
