I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
