we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
