White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
