My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
