They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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