I got chris browned last night
i think my tv is drunk
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
