Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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